Do you ever type something and then almost instantly regret it?
Doesn’t it suck?
Today’s been a weird day.
You know, I’ve always associated myself with the arts more than anything. I’ve never really been as connected to athletics or had physical ambitions as much as a love for music or dealing with emotions. I really loved to watch things take place from afar, and observe and create my own ideas about what they are feeling. I hate interacting with people, but I loved to be surrounded by them.
I’ve always wanted to be a vocalist of a band for as long as I can remember. I can write; in fact, the kind of writing that goes along with creating lyrics is the kind of writing I’m best at. I have the soul to be in a band and to display ideas and emotions that go along with it… I just can’t sing.
I’ve been thinking lately that I really don’t know where I belong. I feel like there is nothing out there for me. A kind of depressing thought process if you ask me, but it’s true. I basically dropped out of journalism because I hate news writing, and interacting with people. You need to love both to follow that career path. But I still love writing more than anything.
I was walking home in the snow tonight, and I was listening to The Black Keys latest record - El Camino - and man, it just hits me so hard. There is so much soul in that music. It makes me wonder what people see in other types of music, like dance or hip-hop, but everyone has their own connections to things like music. Mine is to rock and roll and music that punches you in the gut and makes you pay attention.
That kind of music is the stuff that resonates with a person and can really define who you are. I don’t know, maybe I’m just talking through my ass here, but I really believe it.
Maybe in my past life I was some sort of musician; maybe even a vocalist, and that’s why I feel I have such a strong connection to it.
I want to be a vocalist in a band. I just do, and always have. Maybe play rhythm guitar, because I really do not have much musical talent.
Maybe that’s what’s out there for me.